New Ways To Be “That Girl” Again As a Mom
It is soooo easy to no longer feel like you’re “that girl”. As a mom, as an employee, as a student you can very easily lose your energy to show up as yourself. It’ll take some inner work to regain your true self, but working on your outward appearance will motivate “her” to come back. Check out these amazing ways to become “that girl” again and glow up to your full potential.
Becoming “That Girl” – Glow Up Series
Let me preface this by saying becoming “that girl” is so subjective. This post is not to encourage you to look like me nor any other influencer on your feed. This is about showing up as the best version of YOU. The version that lives in your head but maybe you haven’t seen in the mirror in a while. “That girl” does not have to be skinny, wear wigs, etc unless YOU want her to be and do those things!
Define Who “She” Is
I have barriers to showing up as the woman I want to be, and you probably do too. Between being a single mom and having a chronic illness, it’s a lot I don’t want to do. But you know what, it’s not as bad as it could be so you have to start where you are!
When defining who “she” is, think about:
- What does she wear daily? On a chill day? On a glam day?
- What’s her go to hairstyle?
- Is her makeup minimal, beat, or somewhere in-between?
- Does she accessorize?
- How does she speak?
- What’s her energy when she enters a room?
These are the types of questions you have to get comfortable asking yourself. It’s okay to be delulu when you’re at this stage of envisioning yourself. Dream big!
To start, we won’t act like being that girl is cheap. But we can definitely strive for budget-friendly. Some of these areas have to be done simultaneously for you to get the full effect. However, a lot of this should be done gradually over time, for the sake your purse strings!
Hair
Let’s go to YouTube University and Pinterest School of Arts! There’s no need to reinvent the wheel, find inspiration, then personalize it to you. Get as specific as you possibly can with your search queries.
Ex:
4C protective styles for low porosity hair
Low-maintenance wigs for postpartum moms
Silk press on short natural hair with no heat damage
I feel exposed here because all of these searches I’m sharing in this post are real things that I’ve searched! Spare no detail when it comes to finding the perfect inspiration for your perfect life. There may not be many out there with your specific hair texture/style/color/length but you can get damn close!
Some of my personal favorite YouTubers for hair inspo are:
- Wigs: Sugar Delilah
- Natural: Iesha Davis
- Short: Ny McFly
Makeup
Search > Bright under-eye makeup tutorial for light skin black woman with round face
You do not need a 10-step routine unless you want one. I keep it simple with a bright undereye, a clean brow, and lip gloss that makes me feel put together—even when I’m sleep-deprived.
Search what actually fits your face and coloring.
Soft glam for light skin Black girl with round face
Beginner makeup kit for moms who hate doing makeup
Do what makes you feel refreshed, not overwhelmed.
Nails
Nails are your silent flex. Whether it’s DIY press-ons or an acrylic set, your hands say something.
If you’re low on time and energy:
- Buy a few $6 press-on sets that still give “That Girl”
- Pick signature shapes/colors (mine: short square, milky white, or mauve)
Body
I’m not here to tell you to lose weight to glow up. This ain’t that. But moving your body does move your energy.
Try:
- A 5-minute morning stretch
- Walks with the stroller (or solo with your headphones in)
- A 7-minute booty workout while your toddler watches cartoons
Also, hydrate. Take your vitamins. Go to sleep when you can. Rest is also a form of glow up.
Aesthetic
Let’s get one thing straight: you don’t need to have a perfect aesthetic to have style. But you deserve to look in the mirror and say, “Okay, she’s cute.”
Search what feels like YOU:
Short plus size Black woman streetwear
Soft neutral mom outfits on a budget
That Girl aesthetic, but for lazy moms
Start small: matching sets, cute robes, big sunglasses, crossbody bags, press-on lashes. Add a little main character to your errand outfit.
Confidence
This is the real secret sauce. Not the nails. Not the makeup. You.
Confidence isn’t loud—it’s consistent. It’s how you treat yourself in your head. It honors your boundaries. It’s walking into the school office in sweatpants like you still got it.
Affirmations help. Try:
- “I deserve softness and success at the same time.”
- “I don’t have to overdo to be worthy.”
- “Even when I’m tired, I’m powerful.”
Hobbies
You need something that has nothing to do with being a mom.
Whether it’s:
- Journaling
- Vlogging
- Reading romance books
- Listening to 90s R&B while coloring
- Creating content
- Planning fake vacations on Pinterest
Let your brain and heart wander somewhere fun. Your joy matters.
Final Word
Reclaiming your “That Girl” energy isn’t about looking like someone else. It’s about remembering what makes you feel good, lit up, and aligned—even when life is hard.
Start small, start soft, start now. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to show up.
